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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Getting Away From Sex

I quite often listen to NPR - that being National Public Radio - on-line. I listen to Morning Edition in the mornings, though I am listening to it 12 hours behind, and I like to listen to All Things Considered in the evening, though, again, I am 12 hours behind.

As I was cleaning the apartment yesterday, I was listening to a live-streaming of morning edition from WNKU from Northern Kentucky University. Usually while listening to M.E., I listen to the show in its entirety, without the breaks for local news, weather, and traffic. It was a bit disconcerting, then, to hear weather reports for the greater Cincinnati area, and reports on morning rush hour (esp. given that it was 6 PM here and I was just trying to finish cleaning my floors before I succumbed to the fumes and so that I could go eat hot pot in celebration of finishing). There were also reports on city councils and on various local stories that meant nothing to me. I wonder if those stories meant so little when I was living in Cincy? I don't think so though. I think that part of the reason I had to move was what I considered to be the mindlessness of the local news. I hated it so much that I began to wonder how I could possibly come from a place where there so little of importance seemed so important to so many.

I've come to realize a few things in the years past since I moved away for the first time, though.
I've come to realize that the things I think are important are usually not so important to others, and vice versa (this was esp true a few years ago). I've also come to realize that most local news is as mindless as that in Cincinnati. I think it is the first exposure to something that affects you the most.

Anyway, I'm going to be there in 9 days which is a bit of a mind-bender. My place is all cleaned up now - or almost. I've started to pack in anticipation of moving out this weekend, and I am hoping to get a bit of rest now for what will no doubt be one of the more exhausting 24 hour stretches of my life this coming weekend (a class lunch Sat afternoon with this year's kids running around and screaming, a going away party at night, no doubt involving a few drinks, a bit of a dance, and a late night bed time, and then a 10:30 meeting time Sun morning for a day with last year's class and more running and screaming children. It will be great to see those kids as they finish their first grade year Sandwiched into all of this, moving my stuff down to Natalia's place). After this weekend, it will just be school and dealing with the emotional part of moving on after such a wicked experience.

I think I'm going to need to sleep for the first two days I'm at home, but I suspect I will not have that luxury.


And more on the radio: I am listening to All Things Considered right now as there is an interview with Nick Hornby whose books I really enjoy. He had a new book out, or coming out (I'm not sure) about four people who go up to the top of a high rise on New Year's night with the intent of jumping off. I have heard the book is quite good, with its dark humor and its examination of what things take these people to the top of the building.

Hornby has a certain affect on me - one which I can say is both positive and negative. The positive is that I always feel like writing after I read him. The bad is that - well, until I have books being sold and turned into movies I just feel really horribly inadequate.

So the first part of the interview contains a discussion about suicide. They are discussing why Hornby chose jumping as the method. As a lead in, the interviewer talks about her ideas on suicide. To paraphrase: I always thought gas would be the way to go. Not painless, time to back out if you change your mind. If not gas, maybe pills or a gun - those are the ways I would think about going. But jumping. You would have that time leading to the point of impact wondering if maybe this wasn't the best thing to be doing. Its not like you can turn back from that. And then the impact itself. That really can't be pleasant.

I pretty much agree with what she was saying, but I was kind of struck by the thought that this might not be the best thing to be listening to first thing in the morning. I also had to question her choice of gun on the best ways to off self selection. In high school, my chemistry teacher's husband was a surgeon and she brought in a series of pictures of a guy who had tried to blow his brains out. His aim was off and he just put a hole through his head instead. I just remember that in the first of the series, his face looked like a pizza, and in the last he had a hole in his face - I mean, you could see straight through his head.

And then the father of an ex-girlfriend was also a surgeon, out in Santa Barbara. A great guy. Very intelligent, kind, and obviously affected by his job. He showed me a short story that appeared in a collection of medical short stories (no lightweight collection, either - there were some very impressive writers in there). His story was based on his emotional conflict when one night a man came into the emergency room. Where his face should have been was a puddle of red - blood and exposed muscle - and bone. The man had tried to shoot himself and his aim was off. So here is the doctor, knowing this man does not want to live and with the job of saving his life. On top of that, he knows that the man will live and that he will be horribly disfigured - and if the guy wanted to die before, what is he going to want to do now? As the story goes on, he describes the medical processes as he describes his mental processes, and the combination is quite powerful.

I have to admit - I've thought about suicide more times that I can count, more times than I would care to admit to. Not so much in the sense of doing it, but in the sense of its existence as an option, and perhaps in that romantic pull of self-destruction. I can't really imagine doing it with a gun, though. I wouldn't trust my aim.


And finally: One of the characters is a woman who has had sex with one man, and only one time. That one time produced a severely disabled baby. Hornby read a bit from this passage, the woman contemplating that this happened to maybe 1 in 10 million women, which would mean (and despite the sound of the odds) that quite a few women around the world had been impregnated the first time they had sex. This brought to mind the story of a girl I met one time. She had not even had sex and had been impregnated. She was in her teens and fooling around with a guy. They were thinking maybe they would go ahead and do it, and somewhere in the process of deciding, the guy made the decision himself by ejaculating. He was not inside of her, but some of his semen trickled in...and nine months later, a baby.

What are the odds of that, I wonder? And how do you explain that to your parents?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

SUZANNE SOMERS THE BLONDE BIMBO FROM THE SHOW "THREES COMPANY" GOT PREGNANT BUY A GUY THAT GOT SO EXCITED WHEN HE SAW HER NUDE THAT HE IMMEDIATELY CAME ON HER INNER THIGS AN SHE BECAME PREGANT THE SAME WAY !!! DAMM I SURE HOPE THAT GUY FUCKED HER A COUPLE OF TIMES AFTERWORDS SO HE COULD BRAG ABOUT GIVING IT TO HER. BUT I DONT THINK HE EVER DID THAT WAY SUZANNE SOMERS TOLD THE STORY IN HER AUTOBIOGRAPHY. :(

11:41 AM  

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